Immortal Peasants by BAHUMUTH and Angelo Bertolli Everett Speartip III crept down the long door-filled hall. Every twenty feet, his elven feet passed an Earth Elemental, a 12 foot high living rock monster standing motionless. At the end, he crept open the last door into the darkness. Before his second leg stood in the room, magical torches burst open dispelling the darkness. At the other end of the room, a cloaked and helmed wizard sat staring at him from a platinum throne. The very familiar-looking mage stood up and walked towards Everett putting his arm around the elf's neck. "Hello, Everett, my dear friend!" shouted Gandalf. Everett knew him well, but had not believed how much power Gandalf had aquired since they last met. "It is wonderful for you to visit me!" "...the Earth Elementals..." Everett stuttered in perfect awe. "I know what you're thinking! Those rock-heads are very weak alone, but when joined together, they make an acceptable militia," blurted Gandalf. Everett said nothing. "Come you must take a look at my summer castle. It isn't anything compared to my home, but it's humble," Gandalf said, casting a teleportation spell on Everett and then on himself. They appeared in a large billiard room. "This is my game room," said Gandalf sitting on a chair next to a chess table. "Do you play?" asked Gandalf interrupting Everett's thoughts of how big this room was compared to his castle. "Yeah," he replied, stting down. Suddenly, his chess pieces began moving. "Everett?" Gandalf noted staring at Everett. Everett returned the stare to his pawns who were moving around his side of the chess board. "Everett??" repeated Gandalf. Just then a few small pieces jumped onto a large piece, making it shrink into a blob before disappearing. "You sure are bad at mental chess!" Gandalf said aloud. "Your pawns killed your king and established a democratic government!" Gandalf's eyes then looked back "Ohhh... you must of been playing Advanced Mental Chess!" "Uh, yeah," said Everett, still wishing to keep his powerlessness a secret. "I just couldn't get into that. How do you moderate the strings of time if your Paladin of Darkness opens a dimensional door and then casts a timestop spell into the vortex of ethereality?" asked Gandalf turning to Everett to find him gone. Everett had decided to leave the room to take a look around the rest of the castle. Two hours later, he had made it to the next room. Obviously a music room, Everett look at the hundreds of instruments and then sat at the organ. Everett touched the B flat. In a fraction of a second, billions of sounds blasted out of the organ, shooting magic missiles at the walls, polymorphing a few harps into small anphibians, and causing a meteor swarm to hit a small kingdom two continents away. Everett hurched his eyebrows in an evil look and began to stretch his hand to run across the keys of the piano. "There you are!" shouted Gandalf, "Why did you leave? I want to show you my wheat fields," Gandalf said casting another pair of teleportation spells on them. As they looked upon the daylight of the outside. Splinter, Gandalf's former halfling apprentice, turned thier corner and opened a scroll, reading it. "All sing for Gandalf Thebard, 764th the slayer of the Lich, 497th the killer of the Nightshade, 929th the defeater of..." "Yes, yes, they know, they know," Gandalf said calming Splinter who had obviously not grown since the last time Everett saw him. A glow that caught Everett's infravision eye and he turned to see the manifestation glow of the Immortal, Odin. "An Immortal!" shouted Everett. "A peasant..." corrected Gandalf. With that the rest of the Immortals began singing, and continued cutting the wheat. "Gandalf the Great! Gandalf the Great! Beware of he who rules the world, But has the heart to let us Immortals stay, All we have to do is cut and hurl, And then he says, 'Can you live? Yes you may!' Thank you, Gandalf! Thank you, Gandalf!" As Everett and Gandalf through the field. Gandalf corrected most of the peasants saying, "Keep singing!" or "Hey! Stop using your powers! I want this wheat cut by hand!" "I'm tired," said Everett. "Me too," agreed Gandalf, teleporting them yet again. They both appeared in a 30 by 20 kilometer swimming pool/bathtub. Surrounding them was a horde of nude women. "Who are they?" Everett squealed. "These are my 30 wives, of course," Gandalf replied. Everett started to say something, but then decided not to. "You can take a few 'for the road' if you want to," said Gandalf. "Sure, that one," replied Everett. "Sorry..." smirked Gandalf, "she's wizard locked." Everett then noted something and said, "Gandalf, why are you still wearing that helmet?" Gandalf took it off and the palace disappeared and Gandalf became the low-leveled wizard Everett remembered.